Away from You [a song i wrote]

Hentaiman · Post by **Hentaiman** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 5:00 pm

A new song i wrote, after like a week or more of a total writer's bloack i guess haha, b-cuz of this chick... this song is about her.

[Verse 1]
Even though I tried to forget you
I can't live like that
When I try not to think about you
I... fuckin' can't
I know you're so far away
Not even thinking of me
But ever since this damn monday
I think of you and just can't see!

[chorus]

I! feel so far!
So far away!
Away from you!
You! I wanted you!
And I thought!
We'll make it through!

[Verse 2]
Still, you're in my mind
All i want...
Is to be with you, and hold you tight
Hear you laughing, see you smiling
Look at your cute face
Feel like i'm dreaming

[Chorus]

[Interlude]
You, you changed me... totally! amazingly!
You, you didn't know... the impact you had on me!

[Guitar solo]

[Interlude 2]
You, took over my dreams
I can't believe
You, you don't know
how you're important to me
Will you ever know or its a fantasy?

[Chorus x2/3]
[Outro]

Hope you liked!

Post by **withchappedlips** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 8:37 pm

It sounds like a song that could be pretty catchy in the future if it had music around it.

Hentaiman · Post by **Hentaiman** » Fri Apr 25, 2008 11:48 pm

Kyle_ftl wrote:It sounds like a song that could be pretty catchy in the future if it had music around it.

Yeah, i'm kinda thinking about some tunes for it now. I hope it'll work out well.

wiggs1441 · Post by **wiggs1441** » Sat Apr 26, 2008 1:59 am

its ok

Hentaiman · Post by **Hentaiman** » Thu May 01, 2008 2:42 pm

Could i possibly get more comments?
and more of where can i improve it and such, and not that just "its ok" or stuff, if possible. thanx :D

spider-man · Post by **spider-man** » Fri Sep 05, 2008 2:07 am

I think it's good! the only thing I would say is the "I....fuckin can't!" seems a little corny from the lyrics alone, I guess it would depend on the music with it. but other then that, good job!

Hentaiman · Post by **Hentaiman** » Sat Sep 06, 2008 11:09 am

^

Thanx for the late comment, man.

spider-man · Post by **spider-man** » Sat Sep 06, 2008 7:43 pm

yep no problem

PunkSteve · Post by **PunkSteve** » Fri Mar 20, 2009 10:07 pm

it seems good, i'd like to hear it, to see how the words go, but overall its a decent song, well structured, etc :)

TheresNoSolution.com

Away from You [a song i wrote]

Away from You [a song i wrote]

Re: Away from You [a song i wrote]

Re: Away from You [a song i wrote]

Re: Away from You [a song i wrote]

Re: Away from You [a song i wrote]

Re: Away from You [a song i wrote]

Re: Away from You [a song i wrote]

Re: Away from You [a song i wrote]

Re: Away from You [a song i wrote]