TheresNoSolution.com

This is a song I wrote about bullies. With the bully crisis always being talked about, and the new "anti" bully policies being established, I feel the problem is progressively getting worse. Whether we want to face the truth or not, it's there: the anti-bully policies aren't working and the bullying is still going on. I can honestly speak from experience with this because I have been the victim of bullying, more times than I'd like to remember. Yes, it's one thing to be too easily-offended and everyone is going to get picked on here and there; however, it gets to a point where it's time to draw the line, and people don't seem to know where that line is. And if they do, they're ignoring it. The victims out there are even being tormented so much that they're resorting to suicide, which I reference in the lyrics. It should NOT come to this. Bullies need to be stopped. And the parents are partially to blame. They have either turned their backs on their kids, placing more trust in them than is deserved, or they're ultimately not involved in their lives enough. Please understand that this is not a song where I encourage hiding from the bullies, or committing suicide, or anything that seems out of the norm. It is more of an encouragement to stand up to the bullies and, hopefully, raise more awareness about the situation. Anyway, here's the song, appropriately titled "Stop".

Verse 1
Why do they do this to me?
Can't they just let me be?
It's gone past too far
I have all these scars
Tell me it's just a dream
No one ever hears me scream
I cry myself to sleep at night
They don't understand, I don't wanna fight

Chorus
Why can't you see
What they do to me
Open your eyes
You will hear their lies
It needs to stop
All they do is criticize me
They feed their lies to me
How can you not see this?
I'm living in miserable bliss
I feel so alone

Verse 2
I can't go on anymore
Time to shut and lock the door
One pull and I'll be gone
There is no one I can count on
The pain is so unbearable
There's no feeling that's comparable
The end of my life is only a bullet away
Tell mom I love her more than words can say

(Chorus)

Bridge
You may hate me
But you'll never break me
I will not hide
I've got too much pride
It's not a hopeless situation
Stand up and face the confrontation
Who do they think they are?
They have gone too far
They've made me so afraid
I'm the one they degrade

(Chorus)

Yeah, I know what you mean, I've been a bully for my entire life and these stupid new policies can really piss me off.

I know it's a serious issue and you spent time and mind on this song. Although the only thing I can think of is this:

I know it's a serious issue and you spent time and mind on this song. Although the only thing I can think of is this:

I can tell it's a serious issue for you and one that's very close to your heart, but your lyrics are very lame. you use the words "I, The, There, Me, You, and They" to start lines and that consequently leaves them without flow. it just sounds choppy, and amateur. what i'm trying to say is that this is not a song, this is a collection of stand alone lines that follow a similar theme/mood. try making a story out of some of these lines and weave them together.

Here's an example of a beautiful anti-bully song called "The Pass" by Rush. pay attention to how each line complements the next and how they flow.

Spoiler: show

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbBf0c-NaN4

Proud swagger out of the school yard
Waiting for the world's applause
Rebel without a conscience
Martyr without a cause

Static on your frequency
Electrical storm in your veins
Raging at unreachable glory
Straining at invisible chains

And now you're trembling on a rocky ledge
Staring down into a heartless sea
Can't face life on a razor's edge
Nothing's what you thought it would be

All of us get lost in the darkness
Dreamers learn to steer by the stars
All of us do time in the gutter
Dreamers turn to look at the cars
Turn around and turn around and turn around
Turn around and walk the razor's edge
Don't turn your back
And slam the door on me

It's not as if this barricade
Blocks the only road
It's not as if you're all alone
In wanting to explode

Someone set a bad example
Made surrender seem all right
The act of a noble warrior
Who lost the will to fight

And now you're trembling on a rocky ledge
Staring down into a heartless sea
Done with life on a razor's edge
Nothing's what you thought it would be

No hero in your tragedy
No daring in your escape
No salutes for your surrender
Nothing noble in your fate
Christ, what have you done?

TheWatchmaker wrote:I can tell it's a serious issue for you and one that's very close to your heart, but your lyrics are very lame. you use the words "I, The, There, Me, You, and They" to start lines and that consequently leaves them without flow. it just sounds choppy, and amateur. what i'm trying to say is that this is not a song, this is a collection of stand alone lines that follow a similar theme/mood. try making a story out of some of these lines and weave them together.

thank you for your input, but I disagree. I have shown this to my friends, and they loved it

sprinks41 wrote:

TheWatchmaker wrote:I can tell it's a serious issue for you and one that's very close to your heart, but your lyrics are very lame. you use the words "I, The, There, Me, You, and They" to start lines and that consequently leaves them without flow. it just sounds choppy, and amateur. what i'm trying to say is that this is not a song, this is a collection of stand alone lines that follow a similar theme/mood. try making a story out of some of these lines and weave them together.

thank you for your input, but I disagree. I have shown this to my friends, and they loved it

Friends usually tell you what you wanna hear because they like you too much to hurt your feelings, even when you don't think it's true and they deny it, it happens a lot...
However, I can't back up Dylan here, because I haven't read a single line of your lyrics and for now I am too lazy to do so.

FuckT41182 wrote:Friends usually tell you what you wanna hear because they like you too much to hurt your feelings, even when you don't think it's true and they deny it, it happens a lot...

I understand what you're saying, and normally I'd agree, except this time lol my friends are very honest with me. I've been told by them before that I've "written better material"

sprinks41 wrote:

TheWatchmaker wrote:I can tell it's a serious issue for you and one that's very close to your heart, but your lyrics are very lame. you use the words "I, The, There, Me, You, and They" to start lines and that consequently leaves them without flow. it just sounds choppy, and amateur. what i'm trying to say is that this is not a song, this is a collection of stand alone lines that follow a similar theme/mood. try making a story out of some of these lines and weave them together.

thank you for your input, but I disagree. I have shown this to my friends, and they loved it

So what's the point in posting them here? are you hoping for some blind gratification? out of context of melody and rhythm, i can't fully critique these words but just reading them as they are, they are grade ten level at best. if you can't handle the most extreme of critics, like me, don't post lyrics here anymore.

TheWatchmaker wrote:So what's the point in posting them here? are you hoping for some blind gratification? out of context of melody and rhythm, i can't fully critique these words but just reading them as they are, they are grade ten level at best. if you can't handle the most extreme of critics, like me, don't post lyrics here anymore.

I never said I couldnt handle the criticism lol all I said was that I disagreed with your original comment