My Head Boy Letter
Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 2:33 pm
Here is the letter I gave in to my school in order to become head boy. I wrote it between 9.45am and 10.15am this morning before school so I was a bit rushed. Your thoughts?
My Head Boy Letter
I feel that I should be head boy, not because it is my personal ambition, but because the sixth form needs a leader. Someone with the know-how, and the elbow grease to lead us to a new land. At first I was convinced that I didn’t have the cognitive capacity to lead, but when I heard the cries of my fellow students begging me to take power, I could not refuse.
My first decree as head boy would be to eliminate car exhaust pollution, to achieve this we shall travel in tubes. If I am elected, the scientists will immediately begin working on the tube technology.
My second decree would be to prevent the orange people overtaking our school, I propose to install devices at every entrance release special ‘anti-loompa rays’, which can detect fake tan and cause the wearer to combust, thus freeing the school of the infestation.
My third decree concerns lessons and how they are taught. I propose to replace all existing teachers with Will Smith cyborgs, this will cut absences dramatically and improve the learning experience beyond measure, due to the level of badassedness these cyborgs would bring to the subjects.
There are many more decrees that I plan to… decree. And they shall only be revealed if I am elected as head boy.
In conclusion, I hope that for the sake of the school, you can see things my way before it is too late and we are all destroyed by pollution and oompa loompas.
I also expect an oversized golden crown with my name written upon it in many, many jewels once I am elected.
Yours Faithfully, Jables
My Head Boy Letter
I feel that I should be head boy, not because it is my personal ambition, but because the sixth form needs a leader. Someone with the know-how, and the elbow grease to lead us to a new land. At first I was convinced that I didn’t have the cognitive capacity to lead, but when I heard the cries of my fellow students begging me to take power, I could not refuse.
My first decree as head boy would be to eliminate car exhaust pollution, to achieve this we shall travel in tubes. If I am elected, the scientists will immediately begin working on the tube technology.
My second decree would be to prevent the orange people overtaking our school, I propose to install devices at every entrance release special ‘anti-loompa rays’, which can detect fake tan and cause the wearer to combust, thus freeing the school of the infestation.
My third decree concerns lessons and how they are taught. I propose to replace all existing teachers with Will Smith cyborgs, this will cut absences dramatically and improve the learning experience beyond measure, due to the level of badassedness these cyborgs would bring to the subjects.
There are many more decrees that I plan to… decree. And they shall only be revealed if I am elected as head boy.
In conclusion, I hope that for the sake of the school, you can see things my way before it is too late and we are all destroyed by pollution and oompa loompas.
I also expect an oversized golden crown with my name written upon it in many, many jewels once I am elected.
Yours Faithfully, Jables
