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ok, i've never had any type of relationship so i don't know what the fuck to do right now so i'd appreciate if anyone could help me make sense of this.

as you know, i was in Italy this past week and while in Italy i found myself growing fond of this one particular girl. i found the courage and asked her to be my grad date/escort for june. i asked her in front of two other girls that were in her same room for the trip. her response was that she would have to ask her mom, but i saw her not make direct eye contact and she looked down (as she was packing her suitcase) and i swear she completely blushed. i left the room and i heard shrieks, but it didn't occur to me until latter. then just thinking about it made me happy that i had just came out and asked her straight up. i began to think that i may have other feelings for her aswell. then on the ride home she seemed really cool/calm and i was feeling even better.

then we got back home and i talked to her on facebook for over three hours, amazingly. but when i asked her what her mom had said, she told me that she hasn't gotten an answer yet. i said it made sense because her parents don't know who i am, and nor my parents her. i told her that i'd like to take her out someday this week, but she didn't reply for about 4 or 5 minutes and she said that she just found out that she has to work everyday after school. i even offered to take her out to lunch during lunch break in school. she told me that she wants to catch up with school work. it makes sense that she'd say that cause i too have to catch up in school.

i talked to her again the other day (on facebook) and her mom said she could be my escort. that made me really happy again but i never saw her at school for these past two days, she was sick today but i dont know about wednesday.

then i just finished talking to her again and this is what we said:
Me: i suppose you're gonna finish the rest of your homework at lunch/after school tomorrow
Her: ya most likely..not looking forward to it tho haha
Me: so then i guess you wouldn't want to go out for lunch/coffee
Her: no cant
Me: it's alright, i get it
Her: okay..i gotta go now tho..ttyl
Me: see ya

now when i keep getting these sort of messages from her it makes me think that she doesn't want to even be around me. but if she told me that her mom and she are alright with me taking her to grad, then that shouldn't be the case? im so confused, can someone help me understand cause i really don't know. i wish that if she doesn't like me/want to be around me that she would would just say so. i can handle rejection, but i can't handle being so grossly confused.

Girls tend to do that if they're confused about a situation; they often put things off until they think it's really obvious that they're avoiding giving a direct answer, although this isn't always the case. It sounds to me, though, like she really does like you, because, if she didn't, she would've told you her mom said no and not even bothered asking about it(:

But just try to give it time. Don't push it, because she'll notice that more so than anything positive you do, but keep trying. If things work out, they work out, but if they don't, it probably wasn't meant to be(:

Yeah, it sounds like she likes you and the three hour talk is definitely a good thing since if she didn't like you she could've faked a "g2g ttyl" after five minutes.

My advice is not to push going out for coffee/lunch whenever you talk to her. You might come off as desperate/needy and lots of girls tend to get turned off by that. So don't bring the subject up for a while and focus more on just talking/flirting with her, making her laugh... etc. Then you can casually bring it up later.

the thing is she really likes you, but she knows she can't because her parents won't allow it.

because you're black.

Jeremy Kill wrote:Yeah, it sounds like she likes you and the three hour talk is definitely a good thing since if she didn't like you she could've faked a "g2g ttyl" after five minutes.
My advice is not to push going out for coffee/lunch whenever you talk to her.

Exactly what i was going to say, the last thing you wanna do now is push it, just give it some time, from the way i look at it, you have a great shot with this girl, and i'm pretty sure rejection isn't what she aims for, coz she could've done that when she had many opportunities to do so.
I think you should give her some space, and not ask her out that often, just keep talking to her more and more so that she gets used to talking to ya, BUT BEWARE: Like Jeremy said, be funny, flirty, and don't give her the impression that you don't want her anymore, or that you'll settle for being friends with her.

you need to play the same game as her

Woman are compliant machines. I still don't get why they do what they do but I've always seen that not being to forceful is the way to go. Just talk to her normal, try not to presure her for an anwser. I've always been laid back when it come to woman and I tried not to let my emotions get the better of me because it can be a little furstrating.

Plus, she could just be really busy. I know when there's something bothering me in my mind I tend to be a little bunlt with people. It's one of those things my girlfriend hate but I can't help it.

how old is she ?cos you know asking her mom bout that is kinda weird (to me at least )
if she talked with you for hours that's a good sign

CourtneyKiara wrote:Girls tend to do that if they're confused about a situation; they often put things off until they think it's really obvious that they're avoiding giving a direct answer.

Good to know(;



But, yea, I can't advise you better than everyone else already has. Just take it slow, don't panic, see how things go.

Still Waiting wrote:how old is she ?cos you know asking her mom bout that is kinda weird (to me at least )

she's not quite a year younger, im older by 11 months. it makes sense that she'd have to ask her mom, i mean wouldn't your mom want to know about her 16 year old daughter being asked to be some 17 year olds grad escort? and where im from, the grad escort stays with the graduate the whole night. the ceremony, the supper, then the party afterwards.


great advice guys, i understand it much better now.

something great happened today, i found out that her and i have the same spare period. we sat and talked for the whole class about the trip and hangovers and just random shit. the thing is i really dont know how to"flirt". whenever i think of flirting i always think of when a girl is a slut and she just laughs at whatever the guy she wants to get laid with says and touches him and shit like that. this girl is not a flirt, i don't think... i dunno, she seemed comfortable around me, but not in a way that she just wants to be friends. we joked and she laughed, i laughed it just felt good.

i think im confident now, i've got a better idea at what's going on and perhaps i take can take this farther. thanks guys.

2712 wrote:

Still Waiting wrote:how old is she ?cos you know asking her mom bout that is kinda weird (to me at least )

she's not quite a year younger, im older by 11 months. it makes sense that she'd have to ask her mom, i mean wouldn't your mom want to know about her 16 year old daughter being asked to be some 17 year olds grad escort? and where im from, the grad escort stays with the graduate the whole night. the ceremony, the supper, then the party afterwards.

my mom wouldnt care much, mediterranean culture i guess

Jordan wrote:

CourtneyKiara wrote:Girls tend to do that if they're confused about a situation; they often put things off until they think it's really obvious that they're avoiding giving a direct answer.

Good to know(;



But, yea, I can't advise you better than everyone else already has. Just take it slow, don't panic, see how things go.

LOL, I knew you were gonna comment on that(: But I don't do that because you notice when I do :P

she thinks your a rapist.

shave your head and eye brows, paint your eye brows back on, buy a rainbow afro wig and tell her your name is jermaine johnson from kansas city.

A girl broke up with me cos her mum told her too.

She was jealous.

Jake-41 wrote:A girl broke up with me cos her mum told her too.

She was jealous.

AHAHA

God my life sucks...

Jake-41 wrote:God my life sucks...

-_- is it necessary to have a girlfriend to have a good life?! i've never had a boyfriend and i'm happyyy!

iemnaiz wrote:

Jake-41 wrote:God my life sucks...

-_- is it necessary to have a girlfriend to have a good life?! i've never had a boyfriend and i'm happyyy!

So you think.

iemnaiz wrote:

Jake-41 wrote:God my life sucks...

-_- is it necessary to have a girlfriend to have a good life?! i've never had a boyfriend and i'm happyyy!

I was just stating my life sucks, lol.

And WTF! Do you fail to Indonesian standards? I think your quite attractive.