Butch Walker's New Years Re......Solution...

[Heather]

This is funny..........

http://maybeitsjustme.biz/post/31539423 ... e-solution

i leave you with my Top 10 list of 2009:

10. Taking back shitty stupid phrases like “owned” and “fail.” “Epic fail” will cost you 7 scenester bullshit points.

9. Autotune. No more. Stop it. It was cute back in, oh… The 1900s, when Cher did it and I can’t fucking believe people have fallen for this bullshit gimmick now. This is why actors get record deals. I want a website that has the raw, unprocessed, un-tuned vocal takes from some of these pop radio chart toppers posted on a daily basis, along with the version that people hear. Maybe people will think twice about saying Jason Derulo is “such a talent.” Did I say that out loud? That’s OK. Just autotune it so it’ll sound more watered down.

8. YouTube videos that are autotuned. When a snot-nosed, bored kid with pimples and bad breath can sit at home while everyone else is outside, making a crying baby sound like Jennifer Lopez with pitch correction software, it’s time to move on. Producers, you have been HAD. It jumped the shark with “Auto-Tune The News.” That shit is actually funny.

7. Swine Flu. What better way to spread more unnecessary fear into the minds of society and make the Drug Administration a ton of dough to capitalize on than a fucking Flu bug. I have lots of friends that got it. The Plague, it was not. Don’t forget at the airport that it will also NEVER NOT be a threat level of any color less than Orange. Keeps you on your toes I suppose.

6. Healthcare Reform. This one is for a whole other Top Ten list I have.

5. Fucking vampires. Stop. Stop. Stop. I can honestly say that as soon as R Kelly does a song about fucking a girl vampire with a big ol’ butt, we have to move on.

4. Octomom. She is part of many problems with this society. Her and that awful, blonde Orange County couple that are famous for being in all of those magazines with other people of the same ilk. When you care more about being photographed at Starbucks with your new lips and boobs and exploiting 8 of your kids in the process, you’re a tool. It’ll be awesome to be one of those kids at school in 10 years and they are getting picked on for having this vain, psycho-obsessed mom that made you famous because she wanted to look like Angelina Jolie. Oh and Momma Kardashian? I’m coming for you next. Gross. I actually saw her at a restaurant interrupt someone’s dinner to introduce herself as “the mother of Kim Kardashian, wife of Bruce Jenner” once.

3. Lady GaGa. This one is great. My old A n Are guy that first signed me to a solo record deal back in the day is the classic example of this industry. He has a knack for discovering new talent, only to have it taken away from him by the higher power party, then kicked to the curb. He did this with several artists you may have heard on the radio but in particular, The GaGa. He signed her, she got dropped, then he got fired. Then it gets picked up at another label and it’s huge. This happens more than you know. And she makes great videos.

2. Twitter. I remember when my buddy Rob (who at the time was the drummer for a band called Midtown) and I were doing their last record, he was sunk into my studio couch, eyes glued to a laptop and updating some page of theirs on a sight called MySpace. I asked him if he could set me up on it and I went from 1 to 120k friends within a few years. Seemed like he knew what was up with this whole social networking thing. Cut to now… Labels have dried up, bands have gotten more and more control over their careers than ever before, and social networking doesn’t just mean “I met her at the homecoming game.” My friend Rob is a bigtime manager now and he stops me in the street about a year ago and says, “the new thing… Twitter….” I said, “No. I will not get involved in something that encompasses all of my free time online with a stupid fucking name like Twitter.” He said he would reserve the name Butch Walker just in case I decided to use it. The irony is, I typed this whole thing on my blackberry, hit send, and uploaded it onto Twitter, where you are probably reading this right now. If my mother only knew. Oh wait.. She does. She reads my twitter more than the New Testament, I’m sure of it.

1. Top Ten Lists. This has taken me a lot longer than I ever intended to do, but I feel as though I’m missing out on something if I don’t do it. It feels as though this is the arch of all the things I have talked about because where would the Top Ten list be today for the lowly, mid-level artist such as myself if it weren’t for a combination of things like the internet, social networking, narcissistic behavior, trending topics, sensationalism, and maybe a little bit of Auto-Tune thrown in? I know that Count Dracula would be turning over on his stake right now if he could see how much shit he has to do to keep up with R-Pattz or whatever the fuck they call pasty, young vampires today. What if Vampires were really wiped out by the Swine Flu? If they would have had better healthcare would they still be around today to suck? What if Octomom only had twins? Where would OK Go be right now if YouTube hadn’t existed? Does Lady GaGa have a Gimp in a leather harness actually updating her Twitter? Would “updating her twitter” have a different meaning in the UK in the 60s? My head hurts. Goddamn you Top 10 list. Epic fail.

[Hentaiman]

Haha, that was a nice one!

[ANNIKA]

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[sumfan4]

who's Butch Walker?

[Heather]

He's one of D's friends

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butch_Walker