I Hate

silverdolphin · Post by **silverdolphin** » Sat Jul 11, 2009 1:05 am

Hi ... this is another short song I wrote not long ago ..

I Hate

I hate the way you're dressed
I hate you think you're so blessed
Don't try to give it your best
Just say goodbye to the rest

I hate you, don't you get it?
I just can't get rid of it
I hate you, stop all your lies
I hate you, say hello to my goodbyes

I hate you, stay away from me
I hate you, why can't you see?
I hate that you're so tempting
You make me feel so empty

I hate the way you're dressed
I hate you think you're blessed
Don't try to give it your best
Just say goodbye to the rest

I hate you, just leave me alone
I hate you, stop calling my phone
I know you're in denial
So don't press redial!

...............

suggestions?

Bass Cone · Post by **Bass Cone** » Sat Jul 11, 2009 1:57 am

The rhyming is so forced. It makes the song seem so... amateur.

Post by **Dylan** » Sat Jul 11, 2009 2:59 am

too many "i hate", you should save the "i hate" parts for either the verses or the choruses. not both.

The Witness · Post by **The Witness** » Sat Jul 11, 2009 3:32 am

i dont hate this

silverdolphin · Post by **silverdolphin** » Sat Jul 11, 2009 12:58 pm

Bass Cone wrote:The rhyming is so forced. It makes the song seem so... amateur.

2712 wrote:too many "i hate", you should save the "i hate" parts for either the verses or the choruses. not both.

I know .. i'm thinking of re-writing the whole song >> it really feels forced ..

iemnaiz · Post by **iemnaiz** » Sat Jul 11, 2009 4:10 pm

I hate you, just leave me alone
I hate you, stop calling my phone
I know you're in denial
So don't press redial!

i liked this one haha

silverdolphin · Post by **silverdolphin** » Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:52 pm

iemnaiz wrote:I hate you, just leave me alone
I hate you, stop calling my phone
I know you're in denial
So don't press redial!

i liked this one haha

Thanx

TheresNoSolution.com

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