I Hate

Like writing songs? Post your lyrics, poems, or whatever here!
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silverdolphin
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I Hate

Post by silverdolphin »

Hi ... this is another short song I wrote not long ago ..

I Hate

I hate the way you're dressed
I hate you think you're so blessed
Don't try to give it your best
Just say goodbye to the rest

I hate you, don't you get it?
I just can't get rid of it
I hate you, stop all your lies
I hate you, say hello to my goodbyes

I hate you, stay away from me
I hate you, why can't you see?
I hate that you're so tempting
You make me feel so empty

I hate the way you're dressed
I hate you think you're blessed
Don't try to give it your best
Just say goodbye to the rest

I hate you, just leave me alone
I hate you, stop calling my phone
I know you're in denial
So don't press redial!

...............

suggestions?
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Bass Cone
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Re: I Hate

Post by Bass Cone »

The rhyming is so forced. It makes the song seem so... amateur.
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Dylan
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Re: I Hate

Post by Dylan »

too many "i hate", you should save the "i hate" parts for either the verses or the choruses. not both.
you have far too much time on your hands

"The missing part of me that grows around me like a cage..."
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The Witness
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Re: I Hate

Post by The Witness »

i dont hate this
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silverdolphin
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Re: I Hate

Post by silverdolphin »

Bass Cone wrote:The rhyming is so forced. It makes the song seem so... amateur.
2712 wrote:too many "i hate", you should save the "i hate" parts for either the verses or the choruses. not both.
I know .. i'm thinking of re-writing the whole song >> it really feels forced .. :blush:
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iemnaiz
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Re: I Hate

Post by iemnaiz »

I hate you, just leave me alone
I hate you, stop calling my phone
I know you're in denial
So don't press redial!

i liked this one haha
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silverdolphin
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Re: I Hate

Post by silverdolphin »

iemnaiz wrote:I hate you, just leave me alone
I hate you, stop calling my phone
I know you're in denial
So don't press redial!

i liked this one haha
Thanx :happy:
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