My Head Boy Letter

[Jables]

Here is the letter I gave in to my school in order to become head boy. I wrote it between 9.45am and 10.15am this morning before school so I was a bit rushed. Your thoughts?

My Head Boy Letter

I feel that I should be head boy, not because it is my personal ambition, but because the sixth form needs a leader. Someone with the know-how, and the elbow grease to lead us to a new land. At first I was convinced that I didn’t have the cognitive capacity to lead, but when I heard the cries of my fellow students begging me to take power, I could not refuse.

My first decree as head boy would be to eliminate car exhaust pollution, to achieve this we shall travel in tubes. If I am elected, the scientists will immediately begin working on the tube technology.

My second decree would be to prevent the orange people overtaking our school, I propose to install devices at every entrance release special ‘anti-loompa rays’, which can detect fake tan and cause the wearer to combust, thus freeing the school of the infestation.

My third decree concerns lessons and how they are taught. I propose to replace all existing teachers with Will Smith cyborgs, this will cut absences dramatically and improve the learning experience beyond measure, due to the level of badassedness these cyborgs would bring to the subjects.

There are many more decrees that I plan to… decree. And they shall only be revealed if I am elected as head boy.
In conclusion, I hope that for the sake of the school, you can see things my way before it is too late and we are all destroyed by pollution and oompa loompas.

I also expect an oversized golden crown with my name written upon it in many, many jewels once I am elected.

Yours Faithfully, Jables

[ÜBERCUNT]

Sounds like your going to beat the bastards of city hall!
Oh and your second decree would be a real help at my school..

[sumfan4]

Head boy? You're gonna give everyone at school head?

[Jake]

Head boy? You're gonna give everyone at school head?

Just the guys.

[sumfan4]

Head boy? You're gonna give everyone at school head?

Just the guys.

I totally saw this coming, no offense Jables.

[Dylan]

tl;dr

you go to hogwarts?

[Boni]

tl;dr

you go to hogwarts?

All schools in Britain have a head boy.

[Jake]

tl;dr

you go to hogwarts?

All schools in Britain have a head boy.

Mine didn't. But we weren't MASSIVELY GAY.

[Jables]

tl;dr

you go to hogwarts?

All schools in Britain have a head boy.

Mine didn't. But we weren't MASSIVELY GAY.

So just moderately gay?
And yes, I'm going to suck upon the penises of lots of men because I'm head boy

[Gregorovich]

I'm going to suck upon the penises of lots of men because I'm head boy

You wouldn't believe the number of times I've had that joke directed at me over the past year -.-

I have to wear it on a fucking badge.

[Boni]

I could never have been the head boy at school. I was the mosher kid that broke the rules all the time. If I could see all my teachers again I would actually apologies because I was quite the twat towards them.

[Druska]

tl;dr

you go to hogwarts?

That's what I thought when I read the post

[Jeremy Kill]

tl;dr

you go to hogwarts?

All schools in Britain have a head boy.

Mine didn't. But we weren't MASSIVELY GAY.

So just moderately gay?
And yes, I'm going to suck upon the penises of lots of men because I'm head boy

Here is some helpful info!

A neat trick:

1. Stroke the back of your throat with your right index finger.
2. Did you gag like a little bitch?
3. Make a tight fist with your left hand, squeezing your thumb in the middle.
4. Repeat step 1.
5. You have just learned how reflexes work.