How to deal with this?

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How to deal with this?

Postby samueeL on Sat Apr 20, 2013 1:45 am

It's 3.30am, haven't been able to sleep in couple of days now. I wasn't planning on making topic but what the hell, you guys are awesome and maybe talking about this helps.

My mom was diagnosed with cancer two days ago. It wasn't caught early on, all we know right now is that tumor is big. Trying to stay hopeful until know more but I have a bad feeling that it has spread to lungs, just speculation though and I really hope I'm wrong. She's 51, never drinks or smokes and eats healthy. So why her? My mom's having hard time because she went through the same with her dad at my age and her dad still managed to fight 10 years with cancer. It was really hard on her and she doesn't like the idea of me moving back home and going through that process (or well I'll still keep my place but live with parents as much as I can)

I'm already grown up, just turned 22 last month but it doesn't make it any easier. It's just something you don't think until it hits you. I have the best mom, we've had great relationship and even though I moved out 2 years ago I still live about 20-30mins away so I visit and stay at home very often. I can't imagine losing my mom this young, she still has so much to see and I really need her. Death seems such scary thing right now, you just stop existing. This has been the hardest experience of my life and I feel horrible every second. Nights are the worst. At the same time I'd have shitloads of uni work to do that I really need to get done but only thing I can do is basically cry.

How the fuck I'll get through this? It seems like end of the world. I need my mom and my dad needs her.

I don't know what I'm looking from you guys. Maybe reminding you that be nice to your moms and hug them every now and then... life fucking sucks sometimes.
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Postby Mitchell on Sat Apr 20, 2013 1:56 am

I'm going through the same thing with my grandma, it sucks that you can't do anything about it.
I hope it turns out to be not life threatening, stay strong dude!
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Postby Heather on Sat Apr 20, 2013 2:23 am

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I can't imagine how hard it must be. I wish I could tell you what to do or how to deal with it, but I can't. Just take it day by day, moment by moment. I hope things start to turn positive for you and your family.
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Postby Jeremy Kill on Sat Apr 20, 2013 9:33 am

Sorry to hear about your mom. Stay strong. I haven't had to experience what you're going through so I'm not sure what else to say, but the thought of losing a parent is scary stuff.
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Postby Jake on Sat Apr 20, 2013 9:51 am

Damn brother. That's just awful. But you gotta have faith in modern medicine!

As for uni I really don't think she'd want you to lag behind, but saying that I know universities here will, under exceptional circumstances, let you postpone your studies for a while with no extra fees. Perhaps yours will do the same if you feel the need. I'd consider talking to a staff member there to discuss your options.

All the best, my friend!
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Postby Emil on Sat Apr 20, 2013 10:23 am

Damn, I really don't have any comforting words or anything other than that i'm sorry about your mom. But as Jake said modern medicine can do wonders! I know it may seem hard right now but i don't think your mom wants you to stop living your life so just keep going on.
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Postby Druska on Sat Apr 20, 2013 6:29 pm

Shit man, you have to stay strong and think positive, negative thinking won't make you any good at this point.I know that it's easier said than done.
It's gonna be tough, but your mom still has a chance and you have to believe in it.
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Postby Dylan on Sat Apr 20, 2013 8:50 pm

I've personally never been through something like this, so i can't offer any real advice other than what everyone else has said; stay strong, support your family and keep hope. Cancer treatments from what i understand, are getting better and better everyday -and with her as healthy as you say, she's got very strong chance.

Stay strong!
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Postby samueeL on Sat Apr 20, 2013 9:04 pm

Thanks guys, means a lot!
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Postby SumGeek on Sun Apr 21, 2013 2:31 am

Hey, Samuel. To be honest with you, I've never experienced anything like this in my life. My Mom has RSD, which at times, causes her to not be well for significant amount of times, so I know what it's like to worry about someone close to you.

I couldn't imagine being in your position, my Mom is 52 and my Dad is turning 56, and he just lost his cousin from lung cancer at 56, which kind of put it into perspective that you can lose anyone at any point in your life. But, please, stay positive. You'd be surprised at what some people can do with their strength to live during these types of situations. I know how much school can be stressful, and even worse at a time like this. Is it possible you could take some time off? I know those things could occupy your mind, but your best point may be to just focus on your Mom's health. At least, I would try and do this if I were in your situation. If not, just try and focus on yourself and your Mom in this time. She'll be going through a lot, but you have to overcome obstacles in life, and this is just one she has to overcome, unfortunately at a young age. If you ever need to talk, feel free to message me.
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Re: How to deal with this?

Postby 182sins on Sun Apr 21, 2013 3:38 am

Hey Samuel,

I don't really know what to say to you, but here's my experience: my aunt had a breast cancer and she didn't survive, because it was already too late.

But there's one question I keep asking myself: what if she had been diagnosed now ?

All I can say is that treatments now seem to be way more efficient than they were ten years ago, and I sincerely hope your mother will get through this.

There's only one thing you can do and you're doing it right: you show your love to her.

Please stay strong my friend.
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