Is this 'dating' in 2013?

If you have emotional troubles and they are really getting to you, get it off of your chest and post it here.

Is this 'dating' in 2013?

Postby Dylan on Sun Mar 03, 2013 4:29 am

Hey guys, I'm just having trouble trying to wrap my head around this.

I went out with this girl yesterday for coffee and things seemed to go decently well. We both didn't know much about each other before so it was kind of a blind date.

We don't have tonnes of things in common, but that's not incredibly important to me. We both love the tv show The Walking Dead so that's one thing. Things didn't go exceptionally well (we didn't make physical contact) but it wasn't terrible at least for me? We had conversation. The whole date was about 35 minuets. The date was okay even if we were outside and it was kinda cold. I didn't want to be rude and end it cause i was cold but she ended the date by saying her brother wanted to go out driving because he just got his learners licence. Which is true because I work with her mom and she mad mentioned that before... her mom is my boss. I know how that sounds but its fine, my boss is great.

Side note; I went to get the mail at the post office afterward and she was there too. We laughed and I said " I swear I'm not following you!" jokingly (of course I wasn't). But I thought its possible she made that previous excuse up... or she decided to pick up the mail because its on her way home.

The thing is during the date she would check her phone often. Not just the time but like messages or twitter or something... I never got a good glance. The conversation continued unhindered but i just wanted to know...

Does this happen to anyone else, is it something I should be concerned about? Is this just what girls do on dates or is she not interested in me? I thought we had a good time and I was gonna ask her out on a second date but I don't know if there's mutual interest or would I be wasting both of our time?

Ps. I checked this multiple times for spelling mistakes. I've been drinking so if anything doesn't make sense... that's why.
you have far too much time on your hands

"The missing part of me that grows around me like a cage..."
Image

Follow me on Twitter!
Dylan
Resident Skumfuk
 
Posts: 6786
Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:44 pm
First name: Dylan
Age: 20
Gender:
AKA: NoReason27, 2712
360 Gamer Tag: Watchmaker2112
Instrument 1: Bass+Guitar
Instrument 2: Engineer+Production
Twitter: @dylanb_27

Postby Scoutaloo on Sun Mar 03, 2013 4:46 am

The thing is during the date she would check her phone often. Not just the time but like messages or twitter or something... I never got a good glance. The conversation continued unhindered...
...
Does this happen to anyone else, is it something I should be concerned about? Is this just what girls do on dates or is she not interested in me?


Texting and checking social media is a favorite pastime these days. I read a statistic that said 22% of teens check their favorite social media page more than ten times a day, and 50% check it at least once a day. This doesn't even include checking texts. Hell, there's a growing number of people who claim to prefer Facebook over sex, it's that addicting. So I'd suppose it's not completely out of the ordinary for females to check thier social whatevers during interactions with others.

Using the data you provided, one might conclude that you might not have had her full attention, but as you said, it was rather casual, so I guess that might be expected, especially for a first date. Once(if) things get more serious between you two, I'm sure she'll try to get rid of distractions during dates, such as checking her phone.

This advice is based on somebody who has never dated a girl(closest I ever got was a girl biting my arm...twice ._.), so feel free to take it with a grain of salt if you wish. I'm not an expert on this subject in the slightest.
User avatar

Scoutaloo
Newbie
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 11:27 pm
First name: Rawr
Age: 15
Gender:
Instrument 1: Kazoo

Postby withchappedlips on Sun Mar 03, 2013 9:42 am

From my experiences, the girls I've gone out with didn't really ever check their phones. They even thought it was rude the couple of times that I happened to glance at mine, as if they were less important or I was talking to someone else, or I was seeing what time it was and how much longer I had to spend time with them...

It's quite possible that she's the type who is extremely addicted to her phone, but it just sounds like she didn't take the date as seriously as you did... I'm not sure what else to say. I could be completely wrong.
And I know I said I needed space,

but I know I can't be comfortable in my own skin.

So when I say I'm scared to be alone, you know I mean it,

I'm just not ready to leave my room.

User avatar

withchappedlips
Moderator
 
Posts: 3975
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2007 4:54 pm
First name: Kyle
Age: 20
Gender:
n00b: HEM
AKA: Official Brand New Fanboy
360 Gamer Tag: TeachMeHow2Kyle
PSN ID: iSeeKyle
Instrument 1: Microphone
Instrument 2: Bass
Instrument 3: Synth
Last.fm Username: KyleFTLx
Twitter: withchappedlips

Re: Is this 'dating' in 2013?

Postby Gregorovich on Sun Mar 03, 2013 11:36 am

In company of any kind, except for pointlessly hanging out with friends, I consider it fairly rude to frequently check one's phone. A lot of my friends in halls take their phones down to dinner each night and, instead of contributing to the conversation, just sit there on their phones. Which pisses me off a huge amount. People need to learn how to go without looking at their phone while they should be giving somebody else their undivided attention. Unfortunately, that's just not going to happen. If you go out on another date with this girl and the habit persists enough to annoy you, I would end it there. If you talked to her about it she'd probably end it anyway. All the girls I know like this seem incredibly defensive about their addiction.
fuck this signature nonsense
User avatar

Gregorovich
Underclass Hero
 
Posts: 3145
Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2009 11:25 am
Location: Leicester
First name: Gregor
Age: 21
Gender:
n00b: Jake
Last.fm Username: grgrlove

Re: Is this 'dating' in 2013?

Postby Sickore on Sun Mar 03, 2013 1:12 pm

I'm not an expert either, but I just would like to say if it was me, you know, checking my phone all the time during a date, it would definitely mean that I can't wait to go back home. Maybe she is different but you have to be careful with all the feelings stuff, just in case.
User avatar

Sickore
Billy Spleen
 
Posts: 371
Joined: Wed Feb 09, 2011 11:25 am
Location: Poland
First name: Justyna
Age: 25
Gender:
AKA: FiFty_B
Instrument 1: guitar
Last.fm Username: FiFty_B
Twitter: j_sickore

Postby Druska on Sun Mar 03, 2013 2:39 pm

If I check my phone more than 4-5 times while I'm on a date or hanging with my friends it usually means I'm bored.
I really hate when you're trying to talk with someone and they just keep checking their phones, I think it's really annoying and rude.
User avatar

Druska
Resident Skumfuk
 
Posts: 6231
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:32 pm
Location: Catalonia, Europe, the Earth , Milky Way
First name: Andrea
Age: 24
Gender:
n00b: xmarryxx Da_Aman
AKA: S, Lois Lane,Druska
PSN ID: Druska7
Instrument 1: Guitar
Last.fm Username: druska41
Twitter: _Druska_

Postby Dylan on Sun Mar 03, 2013 5:57 pm

I hear what you guys are saying. I don't understand the whole new fascination people have with smartphones. Even I consider myself somewhat addicted to the internet, but if im talking to someone else I can put it away for a few hours. I didn't want to call her out on it on the date because it didn't seem like she wasn't paying attention. She asked questions about me, I asked questions and we swapped stories... typical date stuff. She is really nice, but i don't know if she's being nice just to be nice? I'm thinking about taking her out again but for more of an fun activity type of date, something that doesn't need back and forth conversation and requires her to put the phone away more often. Is bowling a good idea, and should i make her pay for her own part?
you have far too much time on your hands

"The missing part of me that grows around me like a cage..."
Image

Follow me on Twitter!
Dylan
Resident Skumfuk
 
Posts: 6786
Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:44 pm
First name: Dylan
Age: 20
Gender:
AKA: NoReason27, 2712
360 Gamer Tag: Watchmaker2112
Instrument 1: Bass+Guitar
Instrument 2: Engineer+Production
Twitter: @dylanb_27

Postby Noreason757 on Sun Mar 03, 2013 7:06 pm

bowlings pretty good, mini golf would be better id think, its more up close and personal (u could get up close and help her golf if she needs it ;) ) and yeah if its a date you should pay.
Image
User avatar

Noreason757
Hooch
 
Posts: 461
Joined: Fri Aug 06, 2010 12:53 am
First name: Sean
Age: 24
Gender:
PSN ID: NoReason757
Instrument 1: keyboard
Instrument 2: guitar

Re:

Postby Scoutaloo on Sun Mar 03, 2013 11:09 pm

TheWatchmaker wrote:I don't understand the whole new fascination people have with smartphones. Even I consider myself somewhat addicted to the internet, but if im talking to someone else I can put it away for a few hours.

Sadly, this sort of behavior is shared with an ever shrinking minority nowadays. I've met several people who spend their waking hours staring at their lowing rectangles, completely oblivious to the world around them. One individual I was reading about was so addicted that she stared sweating and hyper-ventilating when her parents told her to not check her phone during dinner. It's sad, really, but more and more people nowadays are becoming dependent to their electronic devices.

So I suppose she might just be addicted to her phone. Either that, or she wasn't interested in you, both theories have compelling arguments.
User avatar

Scoutaloo
Newbie
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 11:27 pm
First name: Rawr
Age: 15
Gender:
Instrument 1: Kazoo

Postby Tyler. on Mon Mar 04, 2013 12:39 pm

Honestly it seems like she was probably bored, sorry dude (she just doesn't appreciate your awesomeness of course)

If someone does that to me it pisses me off and I won't make the effort to see them again usually. I'll only ever do it myself if I'm bored so I take it as meaning the same thing when it happens to me...

Having said that, dating can sometimes suck to begin with but get way better once you know them more, so if you wanna try a couple more dates first things could change.

Or she could just be phone addicted like people said, but I think that's less likely.
Image
User avatar

Tyler.
Chuck
 
Posts: 2080
Joined: Sun May 02, 2010 3:01 pm
Location: Australia
First name: Tyler
Age: 22
Gender:
n00b: Gutter Dreams
Instrument 1: Guitar-Bass-Piano
Instrument 2: Trumpet-Drums
Instrument 3: Didgeridoo

Re:

Postby Sum41Ant27 on Thu Mar 07, 2013 1:53 am

TheWatchmaker wrote:I hear what you guys are saying. I don't understand the whole new fascination people have with smartphones. Even I consider myself somewhat addicted to the internet, but if im talking to someone else I can put it away for a few hours. I didn't want to call her out on it on the date because it didn't seem like she wasn't paying attention. She asked questions about me, I asked questions and we swapped stories... typical date stuff. She is really nice, but i don't know if she's being nice just to be nice? I'm thinking about taking her out again but for more of an fun activity type of date, something that doesn't need back and forth conversation and requires her to put the phone away more often. Is bowling a good idea, and should i make her pay for her own part?


I found bowling is only fun when there's more than 2 people. I would say mini-golf or something that keeps you guys moving! You should pay (sadly), but girls usually look at their phones a lot. It's rude, but it's good you didn't call her out, she would've thought you were a dick, even though she's the dick for looking at her phone with you. Anyway ask her out, what's the worse that can happen? If she says no, move on to someone else! :razz:
Image
User avatar

Sum41Ant27
Half Hour Of POWER!!!
 
Posts: 1477
Joined: Sat Sep 08, 2007 7:34 pm
Location: Jersey
First name: Anthony
Age: 19
Gender:
360 Gamer Tag: Sum41Ant27

Postby Jeremy Kill on Sun Mar 10, 2013 4:15 am

I don't think I'm going to be adding anything new to this discussion that you haven't already heard from someone else. So I'll just tell you about my experiences with cellphones and dating. The first date I went on with my girlfriend we went to dinner and ate/talked for an hour. She never took her phone out or looked at it until near the end of the date to see how late it was before I took her home. The only time I took my phone out was to take a photo for Instagram, which provided us with a little inside joke regarding hipster artwork. If the phone comes out at any point in the date it should have something to do with what you are talking about. Sometimes I use it to clarify random facts I like to tell my girlfriend (such as mangos being the #1 most consumed fresh fruit in the world, but that was from a couple years ago...) and that particular fact added to the date because I was drinking a mango lassie at the time and she told me she didn't like mangos.

Anyway, I suggest taking her out on another date like mini golf. I think that was our third date and it went over well. Apparently the thing to do these days is to go halfsies on dates. I'm pretty sure I paid for the both of us that time though. All I can add is just try and tell lots of jokes or be funny in a natural way, don't force it. If you find an opportunity to bond over an inside joke like Jim and Pam from the Office, do it and it can help segway into future dates.
User avatar

Jeremy Kill
Moderator
 
Posts: 12879
Joined: Wed May 30, 2007 11:57 pm
Age: 0
Gender:

Postby Boni on Sun Mar 10, 2013 9:54 am

I usually whip out the phone on a date and show some hilarious videos. My usual harsh truths and blatant sarcasm also helps too. Wouldn't worry about the whole check phone thing, it is a very common practice, even more so among the females.
User avatar

Boni
Administrator
 
Posts: 5831
Joined: Sat May 19, 2007 12:17 pm
Location: Scotland
First name: Christopher
Age: 28
Gender:
PSN ID: BoniBoyBlue
Twitter: @boniboyblue

Postby Druska on Sat Mar 16, 2013 4:56 pm

This parody reminded me of theis topic

User avatar

Druska
Resident Skumfuk
 
Posts: 6231
Joined: Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:32 pm
Location: Catalonia, Europe, the Earth , Milky Way
First name: Andrea
Age: 24
Gender:
n00b: xmarryxx Da_Aman
AKA: S, Lois Lane,Druska
PSN ID: Druska7
Instrument 1: Guitar
Last.fm Username: druska41
Twitter: _Druska_

PostThis post was deleted by Boni on Sat Mar 16, 2013 5:45 pm.
Reason: Inappropriate response for this topic.

Postby Dylan on Sat Mar 16, 2013 7:00 pm

Thanks for the input everyone, but I'm afraid the situation with this particular girl is deeper than I realized (but it seems so obvious now). I don't want to bore anyone with details, this is something I need to figure out by myself.
you have far too much time on your hands

"The missing part of me that grows around me like a cage..."
Image

Follow me on Twitter!
Dylan
Resident Skumfuk
 
Posts: 6786
Joined: Tue Aug 14, 2007 10:44 pm
First name: Dylan
Age: 20
Gender:
AKA: NoReason27, 2712
360 Gamer Tag: Watchmaker2112
Instrument 1: Bass+Guitar
Instrument 2: Engineer+Production
Twitter: @dylanb_27

Postby Boni on Sun Mar 17, 2013 4:01 am

I'd like to be bored with the details.
User avatar

Boni
Administrator
 
Posts: 5831
Joined: Sat May 19, 2007 12:17 pm
Location: Scotland
First name: Christopher
Age: 28
Gender:
PSN ID: BoniBoyBlue
Twitter: @boniboyblue

Re:

Postby Jeremy Kill on Mon Mar 18, 2013 8:46 am

Boni Boy Blue wrote:I'd like to be bored with the details.

Yeah, same!
User avatar

Jeremy Kill
Moderator
 
Posts: 12879
Joined: Wed May 30, 2007 11:57 pm
Age: 0
Gender:


Return to Everybody's Got Their Problems

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests

cron