Sad

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Sad

Postby Dylan on Sun Oct 09, 2011 10:17 pm

I'll apologize now for this post being long....

To put it simply, yeah, im sad. there's no one particular reason, but if i had to, i'd say that im afraid of growing up. if you were to come up with a list of stereotypical things a 19 year old does, and compare them to me, you would not find many things in common.

Outside of school, i never really hung out with friends. i'm not a social person, not at all an extrovert. i don't go finding fun or exciting things to do, or try to meet new people, im a kind of person who wants to be included. thinking back, i can't find a hardcore example of when someone else really asked for me to be included. i had to ask my friends to be in their band, though i never knew how to play an instrument. not once did they ask me, and i had to learn the play bass by myself.

so whatever, i was in a band, cool. but then as we went through high school, we constantly considered the people who went to parties and drank on the weekend to be "losers" and "idiots". my parents encouraged me to drink, and i guess i was always afraid to. i heard about all the other kids and their stories about how "so-and-so got soo drunk that they yelled at a tree/fought a plastic skeleton/etc", and they were funny. i never wanted to drink because i didn't want to be the subject of those stories, just cause i was afraid of what they would say about me. To me the best way to avoid all that attention, was simply to do nothing.

and by not going to these parties, i missed out on another highlight being a teenager; relationships. I've only had "crushes" on a few girls from school, and none of those times had i tried to ask her out, out of fear of being rejected. it's not that i feared rejection, i knew she would probably never agree, but i feared the ridicule that i may receive after everybody found out. it was best to avoid this as much as possible, i thought. In grade twelve, about two years ago (and i just realized that it's been two years O_o) i wanted to change the way my peers looked at me. i was going to be more outgoing, and more importantly, i was going to find a girlfriend. before i could implement this, my friend found himself a girl. i don't know how it happened, but it seemed like she just appeared and he didn't have to try at all. i was furious.

why did i think he was less deserving of love than me? i don't know, it sounds selfish right now, but then i was sure i was right. long story short, i tried very passively to get a girlfriend, but after being rejected once, i was mentally shattered. but she ended up being my grad date, which didn't make things any easier. after graduation, i spent the whole summer thinking about her and how much time i wasted and what i should have done. IDIOT! i was wasting more time thinking about her than she deserved.

So, i moved. 1500km away. i thought it would be a great thing to start over fresh and new. but now being here for 10 months, i know what the problem was all along. Myself. i try to be friends with the people who are in my class taking the same course as me, but i don't think they like me. they talk to me, in class. not once have i been taken up on an offer to hangout, or have i been offered to do something. it has to be something about my person that is undesirable. so consequentially, i spend a lot of time on my own in my room either on the internet, watching movies or playing my guitar. i have two roommates, both are females who live an active social life. i would much rather live by myself, but the rent is too much. having roommates with a social life is irritating to someone like me who doesn't have one, its almost insulting. they never have even asked me to come along. i don't know if i would, but to be thought of is just nice.

I do like being alone, but being by myself i realize just how pathetic my life really is. im 19 years old, and im basically a shut-in/ recluse. the only time i feel included or have a sense of belonging is when im with my family. so i guess, im afraid of growing up; i want to live as a 16 year old for the rest of my life because that is when i felt the most happy. sometimes im so alone, that i think about quitting school and moving back with my family and working at my old job just to have a sense of security and to feel wanted. Im taking an audio engineering course, and though i like what i can do with this, im unsure i will have a job when im done. i guess you could say im stressed, but im also afraid, alone and self-conscious. and all that together is why im sad and depressed.

i don't expect anything you guys can say will help me suddenly feel better, i just needed to let someone know how i feel.
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Re: Sad

Postby SickofEveryone on Sun Oct 09, 2011 10:21 pm

Dude....this is like the story of my life....except I'm not 19 yet...I know exactly how you feel.
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Re: Sad

Postby Jables on Sun Oct 09, 2011 10:45 pm

Most of this was me until age 14, but the thing about girls is still amazingly like me, my friend got a girlfriend (the girl he got was one who I liked for years, I had a good moan about that in another thread though). I spent the whole of last summer liking a girl only to find out she liked my other friend.
I am very crazy and do crazy shit now though, i just do what i want when I want and many people respect me/think I'm funny cos of the things I do and the way I see life. Although girls just never seem to like me as more than a friend. I too have never asked a girl out due to extreme fear of rejection, I nearly did on August 22nd (don't ask me how I remember the date) but I couldn't get the words out, it's kind a good thing though cos she would have said no anyway.

No-one ever asked me to do things either, I always felt left out and felt as though things would never change, but when I came out of my shell and just became me, people liked me and so asked me to do things and now I'd even consider myself to be slightly popular (not the stereotypical 'popular' thing though, I just have a large group of close friends and other people are nice to me because they no longer see me as vulnerable or an easy target)

Oh and add me on facebook if you want :)
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Re: Sad

Postby Druska on Sun Oct 09, 2011 10:54 pm

Yeah I know how you feel, I've always had problems with trusting people, you see back when I was 7-8 I was a lonely/independent child, guess the fact that i had some "learning problems"( most my teacher thought I was dumb)didn't help either.But somehow I changed a bit, I turned out to be a sarcastic carefree bitch, though I'm still way too independent and I still have trouble with trusting people, that's why I'm no girlfriend material.
there's a spanish saying "los amigos reales, los puedes contar con los dedos de la manos"( Real friends can be counted with your fingers).
Believe me i love my friends but sometimes i need my own space, and they know that.
As fro the drinking thing,çi consider getting wasted at least once a growing up experience, kinda stupid I know, but I learn from my mistakes, right now I don't drink as much as I used
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Re: Sad

Postby SickofEveryone on Sun Oct 09, 2011 11:07 pm

I'm only 16 but since I could remember I always felt left out, like I have a hole that I can't fill. I'm growing up in an abusive home, so it's hard trust people and life it self is. I even tried to kill myself once. :sosad:
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Re: Sad

Postby Raku on Mon Oct 10, 2011 12:05 am

Same age, same story... The only difference is that I never really tried to get a GF... Nor was I jealous of friends who had a significant other, either. Plus I never played in a band, so you are better than me in something...

Although I did frequently hang out with neighbors after school (same school) back in high school... So I don't know, I think we may be the same =/
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Re: Sad

Postby Tyler. on Mon Oct 10, 2011 1:12 am

Just one question, how come you don't ask to go out with your room mates? I don't think they're going to ask you anywhere because it seems like you appear you just want to stay at home, but if you really want to just see what it's like to be social you should ask them if you could come along one time. I mean the worst that can happen is they say no...and all that'll mean is you keep doing what you always do so no harm done.

I think if you start socializing you'll find that you're happier. Even if you still want to be at home on your own after a while you realize you're just happier in general. You'll get more sleep, you'll be looking forward to something the next day instead of not caring about waking up, it's just more fun even though it's more work.
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Re: Sad

Postby Dylan on Mon Oct 10, 2011 1:27 am

Dr. Cliterus of Ponty wrote:M
No-one ever asked me to do things either, I always felt left out and felt as though things would never change, but when I came out of my shell and just became me, people liked me and so asked me to do things and now I'd even consider myself to be slightly popular (not the stereotypical 'popular' thing though, I just have a large group of close friends and other people are nice to me because they no longer see me as vulnerable or an easy target)


thing is, i am myself, just a more sombre version of myself. i can't just forget what makes me sad, and be happy because it occupies my mind every day. im not sure that makes sense, its hard to explain.

Tyler. wrote:Just one question, how come you don't ask to go out with your room mates?

maybe i should have been clearer, just to be asked to be included would be a nice ego boost. however, i don't like my roommates.

SickofEveryone wrote:I'm only 16 but since I could remember I always felt left out, like I have a hole that I can't fill. I'm growing up in an abusive home, so it's hard trust people and life it self is. I even tried to kill myself once. :sosad:


my advice would be to spend less time at home, and maybe spend more time at a friends, or cousins/aunt and uncles. thats a tough one, hang in there bro.
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Re: Sad

Postby Shiv on Mon Oct 10, 2011 1:31 am

i dont usually come to this site. its become lame as shit, so whatever
i've been dealing with a plethora of problems of my own, so i figured i'd just check up on this site to see whats good.

look, i was pretty much you in high school. senior year, i changed for the better. i'm not going to say you have to listen to my advice, but just hear me out

first of all, i was exactly like you with alcohol. get wasted. sware to god, its not as bad as you think. its fun. however, get wasted with friends. dont just drink alone with yourself, because alcohol is a depressant, it WILL make you worse. That moves onto the friend story. look, i wouldn't necessarily try and hang out with your roomates unless they want you. get a vibe from them, if they like hanging out with you then continue to ask them. if they dont want to hang out with you then i wouldn't push it.

just try and be outgoing, and try and do what everyone else does. i know some people like being an individual, but you fit in a whole lot more if you do what everyone else is doing lol

feel free to PM me if you wanna talk about anything, or facebook me

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Re: Sad

Postby Heather on Mon Oct 10, 2011 2:26 am

oh....I'll try to keep this short

I've had many friends come and go and have always been one of those people everyone knows but isn't really bffs with. The longest friendship I've had goes back to 7th grade but we barely see each other any more. Went to college, didn't do any of the social stuff cause I felt out of place. I want to fit in with groups as well but always end up being the "kid" of the group. I'm short and don't try to act/look mature so people think (and treat me like) I'm younger than them. I'd rather play football or guitar and watch the History channel, so I never fit in with the girls who just wanted to watch The Notebook repeatedly or go to the mall. And all the guys see me as a kid sister who's a tomboy instead of someone they'd want to date.

Dylan, moral of the story, most people have probably felt the way you do. Keep trying to make friends and do things you may not think you'd have fun doing. But always be yourself, if you don't like something/someone, don't pretend to.

can't help ya on the drinking thing, never been drunk.
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Re: Sad

Postby dbauer91 on Mon Oct 10, 2011 3:07 am

i ate lunch in the library in high school, finally started going out w/ a girl i worked w/ and flirted w/ for 2 years as a h.s. senior / college freshman, but about 3 months after we started going out, she cheated on me w/ her ex so i quit my job of 3 1/2 years. sophomore year i tried a campus school instead of commuting, but left after the first semester b/c my ex-bandmates and ex-friends (who all went to that same school) stopped hanging out w/ me almost inexplicably. shit can really suck, trust me, i've been there. i know it sucks being the guy who has no one who actually wants his company, but it does get better over time. you'll still probably never get back those you wish you still had, but try changing things up and things will change (likely for the better, especially if you think you don't have much going for you at the time anyway).
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Re: Sad

Postby sumfan4 on Mon Oct 10, 2011 4:53 am

I kinda feel the same way sometimes when I can't seem to find anyone to make plans with, but nowhere near as bad as your situation. It's kinda hard for me to meet new people in college especially since I'm so close to old friends whom I'd rather hang out with than someone new if given the choice. I'm glad I grew up with and became friends with who all I did, I've had many great times with them! I never really thought of it, but I have quite a lot of friends. I need to see most of them more often. I'm sorry about your situation though dude, that's really depressing to read. I hope everything works out okay.
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Re: Sad

Postby RileSum on Mon Oct 10, 2011 6:19 am

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. - Steve Jobs

I watched his Standford speech right after he died and what he said right there hit me hard, it made me realize a few things.

I tried writing my whole life story till now, but gave up because it's too hard to put all of my thoughts into text. But although I don't feel exactly like you, your story is very similar to mine. For the past two years i've been feeling really depressed with everything, i'm insecure, lonely, and most of all guilty of knowing this is all my fault that i've gotten to this point. I've always had this thought that things would get better, but they usually don't, and when they do it's like 1 step forward and 2 steps back. I have friends, but none of them ask me to hangout with them except for 3 who i've been friends with my whole life, but lately it feels like were all starting to go are separate ways with things. All the girls that i've liked have stuck me in the just friends zone. For the past two years i've just been coming home after school and doing nothing, unless i'm playing some sort of sport. I'm not going to go to in depth and explain everything from my life, but ever since i was little I always thought my life would just pan out on its own, and now that i'm older i'm getting tired of the same old shit that i've been struggling with for half my life. So for the past two years if i were to have looked in the mirror and said that if today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today? it would have been a no for those two years, i know now i need to stop sitting on my ass waiting for something change, I just don't know where to start.
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Re: Sad

Postby Tyler. on Mon Oct 10, 2011 8:21 am

Also I recommend drinking, just not too often or on your own. Find a few people to go out drinking with, you have some great times when you're hammered plus it'll get rid of your feelings of wanting to be on your own and all that. If you drink more than once every 2 weeks you start to get a bit down though so don't do that... But really in all the bad parts of my life lately, alcohol has kinda helped me have a bit of fun for once..
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Re: Sad

Postby FuckT41182 on Mon Oct 10, 2011 2:40 pm

well, you are complicated in your own way, but many people are complicated these days ... I personally have no problem with social skills, I never had a problem to get invited somewhere, people in the class like me, I can make almost every single person laugh, I have my people to back me up, people who actually can fight very good, I have girls who wanna go out with me ...

but all in all, I'm not happy at all XD you know, with my life, I should be happy as fuck, but I'm not, I mean, I'm not miserable, I just don't feel, almost at all, I don't even feel anger when I fight, or fear, or whatever ...

I just wanna fucking enjoy my good life, but I can't ... I just wrote it to let you know that even if you see a man who might look great and happy as fuck, he might just be doing things he was born with abilities for(like socializing), but it might not be what he wants to do ...

so, almost every man has his problems now and then, and that's when you get up, think about what you really need to accomplish, to find, to fill your emptiness with, and than you start stalking it every second of your life, you just need a little courage and self-confidence

as an advice of how to accomplish it, your social skills, it's not so hard to talk to people, I mean, try to meet someone who listens to the same music as you do, I met many girls who liked me as soon as I told them that I like Sum 41, or The Beatles, not many people like this music nowadays and it is only natural that people like when some other person like their music, try to talk about cars or anything, you just need to find out what the other guys like, if you like the same things, it is basically just about that, talking about the shit you both like ...

and even though you might be depressed and feel like 19 years old is too late and feel the way that you should have at least one girlfriend by now, stop it ... as soon as you start talking to people you will hear enough stories of how they fucking hate their ex's and how they would never start a relationship with that girl ... you don't really need that just because people call it growing up... maybe your gf that you find in the future will be worth more than all the gfs the other guys that you've watched over the years have had in their lifetime ...
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Re: Sad

Postby Jables on Mon Oct 10, 2011 3:42 pm

2712 wrote:
Dr. Cliterus of Ponty wrote:No-one ever asked me to do things either, I always felt left out and felt as though things would never change, but when I came out of my shell and just became me, people liked me and so asked me to do things and now I'd even consider myself to be slightly popular (not the stereotypical 'popular' thing though, I just have a large group of close friends and other people are nice to me because they no longer see me as vulnerable or an easy target)


thing is, i am myself, just a more sombre version of myself. i can't just forget what makes me sad, and be happy because it occupies my mind every day. im not sure that makes sense, its hard to explain.


I know what you mean, and I was the same, I was bullied for much of my life (mostly with nothing being done about it due to stupid useless teachers) and I became very closed off and just down in general, still me, but a very sad version. You've just gotta think of life as an opportunity to have fun, you have to grab situations and enjoy them, if people don't want to talk to you/dismiss you as a social entity, then screw em', it's their loss, you need to act happy an outgoing even if you don't feel like it, then people will be drawn to you and you won't have to feel sad and down cos the thing that made you sad will be partly gone :happy: And don't worry, I'm afraid of growing up too, I have no clue what to do, so i'm just gonna do whatever I want to, and live life with no regrets, there isn't a formula for life that we all have to live by, we make our own luck and that's what I plan to do :)
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Re: Sad

Postby gejmik on Mon Oct 10, 2011 6:17 pm

hey I absolutely know how do you feel, I felt the same way unil my.. I guess 17, when I started drinking a bit. Well more than a bit. I got some friends and I started to talk with girls more, but alone with a girl I was shy, had nothing to say to her. Everything changed when I met a girl who seems to be the exact opposite of me this summer :D. I'd say that I changed a lot this year. I was pretty BIG geek until my 18. I was playing games a lot, I got PSP, PS2, PS3, XBOX360, I played it a lot. Now I sometimes start my PS3 to play some game, but it's really a few times a month. I like spending time outside more than I used to. When I was younger I just got from school, started some music, started some game and did it every day, I can say I had many friends online, but a few in real life. That changed in last 2 years. Don't know how, I just got among people and started to communicate more and they took me in and I started to live social life. You're 19, everything can change by some small event that can happen to you, don't worry. You just have to find out the right people to hang out with ;)

edit. and to be honest, I never thought about what I just wrote unil now, never told anyone how I felt about it. I guess it's just.. growing up.
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Re: Sad

Postby Druska on Tue Oct 11, 2011 12:19 am

Shiv wrote:first of all, i was exactly like you with alcohol. get wasted. sware to god, its not as bad as you think. its fun. however, get wasted with friends. dont just drink alone with yourself, because alcohol is a depressant, it WILL make you worse.

just so you know getting wasted leads to hangover, and hangover aren't cool

Shiv wrote: just try and be outgoing, and try and do what everyone else does. i know some people like being an individual, but you fit in a whole lot more if you do what everyone else is doing lol

alright i think that's stupid but that just me liking to be my own self, no offense
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Re: Sad

Postby Shiv on Tue Oct 11, 2011 12:50 am

Druska wrote:
Shiv wrote:first of all, i was exactly like you with alcohol. get wasted. sware to god, its not as bad as you think. its fun. however, get wasted with friends. dont just drink alone with yourself, because alcohol is a depressant, it WILL make you worse.

just so you know getting wasted leads to hangover, and hangover aren't cool

[quote="Shiv" just try and be outgoing, and try and do what everyone else does. i know some people like being an individual, but you fit in a whole lot more if you do what everyone else is doing lol

alright i think that's stupid but that just me liking to be my own self, no offense[/quote]
no. hangovers are only if you dont drink water. if when you're done drinking if you chug water when you're done, you wont get a hangover. second, i express my individuality in other ways, such as the way i dress. but i do things other people want to do.

so you can go fuck yourself

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Re: Sad

Postby Jeremy Kill on Tue Oct 11, 2011 1:12 am

I was in a similar situation with my life when I was a kid. I always just waited around to get invited to stuff and if I had a crush on a girl, I wouldn't tell her and wouldn't pursue her in hopes that things kind of just fell into place. A lot of the time things did fall into place, but they took a very long time and probably would've happened sooner had I taken initiative.

Now, as far as being yourself goes, that's never a bad thing. However, sometimes you have to make small changes to get to where you want to go, like changes to your personality. The way you present yourself is important. If you're with people and you never say a word or you're always doing your own thing, they'll get this idea that you like being alone/not much of a socialite, so they won't bother asking you to come to outings and stuff. Sometimes they may ask because they feel bad for you being alone all the time, but don't let it come to that.

Instead of waiting to get invited, be the one that initiates the outing. I guess it would be different if you had roommates that were guys, but you could just ask if they wanted to grab a beer or something really casual like that. As much as alcohol is bad for you when you have too much, it's like the key social thing to do. Especially with college/university students.

Speaking of alcohol, here's something I hope will inspire you to be more outgoing. This was me last night:

Click to view the fullsize image.

Point of the picture is I got invited somewhere. If you're a funny, lively sort of person, people will want to hang around you more. Of course, this personality doesn't fit everyone, but who doesn't like being around a happy person?
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Jeremy Kill
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