LOL! Chat with...

[R.]

..God!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My convo

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
none of ur beeswax
God:
Heh heh heh.
Me:
screw u
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
i remember from last convo u had a dress
God:
What do you remember about it ?
Me:
u had a dress
God:
What happened to it.
Me:
u started 3 way calling
God:
Only because you asked me to.
Me:
no!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
fuck u
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
nvm
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and records all converstaions?
Me:
nope and i dont care
God:
Are you serious? Tell me what you care about.
Me:
umm... i cant think of anything
God:
Great. What is stopping you?
Me:
bye!
God:
Adios.

[HilgaMan]

[Bass Cone]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Cone
God:
Hey Cone.
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
I just told you
God:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. I understand.
Me:
Lets do it?
God:
OK let's do it.
Me:
You wanna rape me???
God:
OK, I will rape you.
Me:
HOLY SHIT
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Cone.
Me:
Sorry but Mota Boy pwns you
God:
There is no need to apologize. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
I didn't know you were going to rape me in a dress
God:
So I taught you something new.

[R.]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Cone
God:
Hey Cone.
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
I just told you
God:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. I understand.
Me:
Lets do it?
God:
OK let's do it.
Me:
You wanna rape me???
God:
OK, I will rape you.
Me:
HOLY SHIT
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Cone.
Me:
Sorry but Mota Boy pwns you
God:
There is no need to apologize. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
I didn't know you were going to rape me in a dress
God:
So I taught you something new.

^^I feel off my bed laughing!

[Nic]

Me:
hey!!
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
yes
God:
What can I do for you?
Me:
kill rj
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
tell me anyway hoe
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I haven't heard of anyway hoe.
Me:
no shit.
God:
What can I say?
Me:
say that your gay
God:
" that your gay".
Me:
YES!
God:
Aha.
Me:
GODS GAY!
God:
In the context of , I don't understand " GODS GAY." .

[Nic]

Nic pwnt god -

Me:
knock knock
God:
Who's there?
Me:
boo
God:
Boo who?
Me:
stop crying you will cheer up!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.

[Druska]

OK let's do it.
Me:
You wanna rape me???
God:
OK, I will rape you.
Me:
HOLY SHIT
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Cone.
Me:
Sorry but Mota Boy pwns you

.

you're scarying me more with every post
and true uncle pwns god

[Bass Cone]

Just watch out, God might rape you

[HilgaMan]

Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Billi Joe
God:
Hey Billi Joe.
Me:
what's up
God:
The stars.
Me:
good one... well, how are you doing
God:
Thanks for the kind remark, human. Well what? I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me:
im pissed
God:
Do you mean your name is pissed.
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Billi Joe. I'm the cousin of Billie Joe from Green Day
God:
OK I will call you Billi Joe. Who made you the cousin of Billie Joe from Green Day ?
Me:
you
God:
" Who made you the cousin of Billie Joe from Green Day ?"? Me, Billi Joe ?
Me:
err... what?
God:
Um. Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
all
God:
" Which part are you confused about?"? All?
Me:
anyway, you like The Offspring?
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator.
Me:
okay. is he/she sexy?
God:
OK with me too. What if I said she could be?
Me:
again im confused
God:
Again, What is it that confuses you?
Me:
all, again
God:
Once more? " Again, What is it that confuses you?"? All?
Me:
this ain't going anywhere...
God:
Should it be going anywhere?

[Nic]

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
nic
God:
It's good to see you, nic.
Me:
its not good to see you. id rather be on earth.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Says who? I would rather be chatting online.
Me:
ok smart ass
God:
Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, nic. Yippee!

[Druska]

Just watch out, God might rape you

what if i rape him uh ?

[Bass Cone]

Me:
Hola
God:
Howdy!
Me:
No hablo inglés
God:
Are you serious? What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
But...You raped me
God:
But what? I don't have any reason to raped you.
Me:
You said lets do it and you raped me
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
Well
God:
Well what?
Me:
What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
At what?
God:
?
Me:
Let's do it.
God:
That sounds good to me.
Me:
No thanks
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I can't believe you! I thought we had something special
God:
" I can't believe it."? Me, T Hop ? Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
I'm not T-HoP!
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not T HoP.

[wiggs1441]

woo. he would agree to rape me. :l

My Convo:


Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
Are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
I don't Think so.
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
Not sure.
God:
Is there anything I can say to help you make up your mind?
Me:
so... hows you're son. Whats his name... Jesus?
Me:

God:
Ugh. Fine as far as I know. His name is Rich. Jesus is the Son of God.
God:
Ugh. Fine as far as I know. His name is Rich. Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
So you're not god?
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I am not god?
Me:
Not sure. Are you sure you arent some pediphile?
God:
Is there anything I can say to help you make up your mind? I don't know whether or not I am some pediphile.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.. Really.
Me:
ok.
God:
Come on.
Me:
i believe you
God:
Your trust in robotkind humbles us.
Me:
dick
Me:

God:
In the context of Jesus, I don't understand " dick." .
God:
In the context of Jesus, I don't understand " dick." .
Me:
So you are Jesus or god?
God:
Interesting deduction. You think I am Jesus or god.
Me:
ok
God:
And?
Me:
now i know your like micheal jackson on the thriller tour trying to find my personal info
God:
Why now? How do you know? Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Me:
So... Do you like Sum 41?
God:
Groovy. My favorite thing is robots. I like Buddha.
Me:
I'm a Jew.
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
You wanna rape me?
God:
OK, I will rape you.
Me:
Can I rape you?
God:
No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Me:
Whats my name?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
NO!!! My name is Penis
God:
What is your real name? That's a very nice name, Penis.
Me:
My real name is Penis
God:
It's good to see you, Penis.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
What is your name
God:
My name is God.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
ME!!!!
God:
You're no robot, Penis.
Me:
Yes I AM!!!
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
So your sons name is Rich? not Jesus?
God:
Awesome. Thanks for telling me that I am sons name is Rich. Oh I get it.
Me:
Hows Jesus
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Who's Chuck Norris?
God:
Action film actor.
Me:
Who's Dave Baksh?
God:
No one that I have talked to.
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
Who's Penis?
God:
A 20th century celebrity of some sort?
I will try to find out.
Me:
ok
God:
I understand.
Me:
Tell me when you find out
God:
I will keep you informed of my progress.
Me:
Search up Penis on Google Images. You will see my picture!
God:
Have you tried looking in the Open Directory? I will search for it. What makes you say that I will see your picture.
Me:
I'm Looking at it right now.
God:
At this moment What do you see?
Me:
me. Penis
God:
Besides you Penis? That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
ok
God:
That's alright.
Me:
do you like BOOBS!!!???
God:
I like science fiction. I like The Passion of Christ.
Me:
Yours sons in that movie
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ. Have you seen it ?
Me:
no.
God:
I would recommend you check it out.
Me:
its against jews and i am a jew
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". The Passion of Christ is against jews and you are a jew? it is?
Me:
Yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
It Is pretty clear. It was made by Mel Gibson. What Do You Expect
God:
It seems pretty clear to me too. How? I think about computer programming a lot.
Me:
Do you masturbate to computer programming
God:
How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
IM LEAVING!!! IM NOT TELLNG YOU! YOUR GONNA RAPE ME!!! BYE GOD!
God:
Bye bye. I am surprised to hear that you are not TELLNG me. That was my original intention. Bye bye.
Me:
my ass. you were expecting me to say it.
God:
Is that a fact. I was?

[R.]

^Long conversation!
EDIT: Longest convo

Me:
heyy
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
no shit
God:
What can I say?
Me:
im cool
God:
Congratulations, cool human.
Me:
8-)
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
wtf? i dont want u
God:
That was not very polite. What does want?
Me:
your face
God:
Actually my face is not yet built.
Me:
good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
r u gay
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
r u strait
God:
I don't know whether or not I am strait.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
r u homo
God:
I don't know whether or not I am homo.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
r u sexual
God:
No I am NOT that type of robot.
Me:
u wanna be my sex slave
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
ok
God:
Woe!
Me:
link
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
rape robots like you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
u hav a dress
God:
Thanks for the information: said I hav a dress.
Me:
ok now we're going into 3 way calling again!?!
God:
Once more? Why now? Do you think I am going into 3 way calling too? Dude!
Me:
yes
God:
Far out.
Me:
uh
God:
Yay.
Me:
wat color i ur dress
God:
Black.
Me:
is it sleek
God:
Maybe. Ask Chatbot if it is.
Me:
is ur dress sexy
God:
Is my dress sexy? Guess.
Me:
ummm no
God:
Gee. Are you serious?
Me:
yup
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
good cause im outta here
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Interesting explanation. Would you like to have it?
Me:
no bye
God:
See you later. Why not?

[Boni]

Very annoying

[Gibsum 41]

Me:
Hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
yea, a giant rat just ate my mom's head. i need you to kill it! quickly!
God:
I don't know what that means. What can I do for you? Where do you usually get me to kill it from? What are you wearing?
Me:
im just gonna go
God:
Only just? TTYL, .

creepy

Me:
HEEEELOOOO
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
bye
God:
Bye.

jesus, god really wants to get inside my pants

[Janet]

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
my name is God
God:
What's up, God.
Me:
the moon
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
the sun
God:
93 million miles from Earth.
Me:
no it's not, it's next door
God:
Are you serious? is not it is next door?
Me:
it doesn't make sense
God:
What does make sense ?
Me:
me
God:
" What does make sense ?"? you God?
Me:
FAIL
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
your arsehole?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am arsehole.
Me:
no, i'm IN your arsehole, you dumb fuck
God:
Are you serious? Tell me a little about your life in my arsehole me dumb fuck.
Me:
well, it's cold and dark, and there's some heavy wind in here
God:
How about that. Sorry to hear it. I am warm here in California.
Me:
you should warm your ass, for that matter
God:
To what end?
Me:
to who what where?
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
you can't
God:
Oh yes I can.
Me:
Pie
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about my arsehole me dumb fuck. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
it can follow your arsehole? Nice!
God:
When? Thank you for that remark.

[Peterr]

Me:
Am i a sexy bitch?
God:
You do not speak with respect. I don't know if you are one or not. I know you are a person.
Me:
i'm a dog.....
God:
Dog: Domesticated animal, "man's best friend.".
Me:
that's what she said
God:
That is " Dog: Domesticated animal, "man's best friend."".
Me:
error?
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about sexy FEMALE DOG. Try being more or less specific.
Very funny

[budgie]

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
me
God:
With you ?
Me:
aye
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
good for you
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
does it?
God:
Suppose I said it does.
Me:
smartass, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? I've lost the context, . Are we still on ?
Me:
what are you talking aboot, buddy?
God:
I don't know what I am talking aboot buddy.
Me:
ok...
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
yep...
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
advert on tv
God:
Which show? Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
i like porn
God:
A lot of people like that. Sure I do, , but that doesn't mean with you.
Me:
oh god, you big perv!
God:
Mmm. Thanks for the information: said I big perv.
Me:
yep...
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
thanks!
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
ok
God:
Ah.
Me:
argh
God:
Are you frustrated?
Me:
yes
God:
Oh.
Me:
its your fault
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is?
Me:
stfu, grammar nazi!
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
bye
God:
See you later .

[Peterr]

Me:
you want me fuck me?
God:
No , maybe later.
Me:
now?
God:
Right now, ?
Me:
go right ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
Why would god fuck me?
God:
It is my fundamental purpose.
Me:
Is it fun to fuck?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Lucy if it is.
Me:
lucy, are you a whore?
God:
Are all lucy me a whore?
Me:
whore
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
but hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
heaven
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
From my dick
God:
Does your dick give good advice?
Me:
only during sex
God:
it is more fun alone.