My first song

[Peterr]

It's probably the worst thing in the world. I wrote it on my 5 hour trip to vacation.

(Muted)
For all of those who don't belive
who belive that nights not night
who think days not day
It...ends...now!

Chorus: (not muted)
It ends now
(their comming for you)
it's all over
(they're headed over)
The ending is near
(so don't get speared)

the rain has fallen
the storm is past
families torn apart
together at last

(chorus)

the ending is near
it's almost here
so what are you going to do
when they spear right through you?

why didn't you stop them
you knew they were here
now everyones hiding in fear
and
It ends nooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww!

It's shitty i know but any other comments. like what makes it so bad?

[HilgaMan]

It's not shitty at all! I liked it. I really did.

[Gibsum 41]

yea dude, i wouldnt have noticed it was your first song if you hadnt told me. its actually pretty good.

[Peterr]

yea dude, i wouldnt have noticed it was your first song if you hadnt told me. its actually pretty good.

Is it a pretty good song for my first one or is it good in general?

[Dylan]

while i read it, ever time it said "It ....ends ....now", i read as a quiet lyric into a full out scream. and it really is effective.

[wiggs1441]

thats good for a first song. you know what my first song was about? a monster cat

[tomhoppus]

thats good for a first song. you know what my first song was about? a monster cat

Mine was about a breaking up :D

[K.]

mine was about mine (you know)

[Gibsum 41]

yea dude, i wouldnt have noticed it was your first song if you hadnt told me. its actually pretty good.

Is it a pretty good song for my first one or is it good in general?

thats more than good for your first one.

my first one was about how i like to be alone more than in company (inspired by my friends always getting me in trouble). maybe we should change the name of this topic to "what was the first song you wrote about" 8)